I spend a lot of time on
Buzzfeed. I usually unwind from my work day by taking quizzes about Harry
Potter or about the life of 20-somethings (because then I feel more
normal.)
Today I saw an article
about laws restricting abortions on the basis of finding out that the child has
down-syndrome. North Dakota has such a law, and Ohio is debating one this fall.(http://www.buzzfeed.com/azeenghorayshi/down-syndrome-abortions)
The debate over abortions
for the reason of various disabilities is one I'm familiar with. I often skip
these articles because I just get upset and I don't like heated arguments, but
today I read it. While the article was fairly balanced regarding both sides, at
one point I had to pause in shock.
The article featured some
beautiful pictures of a girl with down syndrome who was starting school. But then, her mother was quoted as saying,
“If I found out if this was truly a
fetus who was going to have Down syndrome, I’m pretty sure I would have
terminated."
At that point was horrified, but I couldn't
stop reading, and made the possibly unwise choice of reading the comments. Not
only were several of them nasty and mean, but they spoke of people with
disabilities being a "burden" and that "no one wants
them." I felt sick as I read several comments that referred only to the cost of raising these children, or spoke of ending their lives as the
"humane" thing to do. Much like you would put down a dog.
The ones that came like a punch
to the gut were the ones that came from family members of people with
disabilities. Most of them mentioned how much they loved that person and what a
blessing they were. But THEN they ended with:
"That said, many people
are not prepared mentally nor financially to raise a baby, let alone a baby
with Down Syndrome....Everyone should be allowed to have a say and choice on
the things related to their own body."
"Abortion is such a
sad, difficult decision that should never be taken lightly, but I just don't
think it's right to force someone to give birth to a child they have no way of
caring for."
"I would not judge a
woman for terminating a disabled fetus. If the world was perfect no child would
be born disabled and every child would have a good life, but that is just not
the case."
"But no sibling wants
the burden of caring for their brother/sister when their parents pass."
I don't in any way want to
trivialize the difficulties that come with having a child with disabilities, or
that there are some serious flaws with how our society cares for them. My
little brother, who is now in his 20's, has been living with autism since he
was a toddler. We've always had problems finding a good situation for him in
terms of schools, work, and living arrangements. He cannot live on his own or
do most things that people half his age can do. There were times we had no idea
how to handle this. As difficult as this is for our family, I cannot imagine how it is
for my brother. Fortunately, we've had many people help us, and while things
aren't perfect, my brother is in a stable place right now. We still don't
always know the right thing to say or how to reach him. I worry about what
happens when he's no longer the state's "responsibility," or about
what will happen when my parents get older.
But at NO point in this
experience did any of us dream of saying, "I wish he didn't exist. I wish
that there had been a test for this and Mom had got an abortion. I would
support someone doing so in the same situation." He is my brother, and I
wouldn't trade him for anyone else. Even in difficulty, he still loves the
little things in life. Seeing my brother's smile or laugh means more than
anyone else's. He has taught us compassion even when it is difficult. He's
taught us to see who people are beyond the standards that society sets.
My brothers and I when we were kids (We were so cute!!!)
If some of these people had
their way and such reasoning was followed through to its conclusion, then my
brother doesn't deserve to live because of the "burdens" he places on
other people. When people start thinking of other people as merely the money
they will cost to raise, the time spent in taking care of them, or the
inconvenience they will cause, then we have a serious issue. We cannot use
these reasons to exterminate someone because they are a "problem."
The whole point of being humans, and not animals, is showing compassion in the
worst situations and treasuring the most vulnerable.
I'm not one to start a huge
debate over abortion or women's rights, but I can't read comments like these and not respond with something. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice,
I just hope that this has helped you see a different side to this issue. Most
importantly, I hope we start treating people with disabilities with the same
human dignity that everyone deserves.
